Wings, Smiles and Eyes
by nukagirl
Summary: Dean found Castiel sitting against his car, soaking wet from the rain and muttering nonsense about 'Wings', 'Saved' and 'Father'. It turns out that he has compeltely fallen and is now human, and that means one more step towards his 2014 self, and Dean promised he would never end up like that. Can he fix his broken Angel? Destiel. Slight AU after 7x17.
1. Chapter 1

It was raining when Dean found Castiel sitting against his car and muttering to himself. Meg had rung them, telling Dean in her irritating voice that Castiel had just vanished into thin air. Dean had cursed her useless demon arse before hanging up and heading out of the crappy motel they were currently in, Sam at his heels.

"What do you think happened?" Sam asked as they made their way across the car, rain pouring down on them.

"Maybe he finally snapped and escaped that nut house," Dean replied, panic running through him but he didn't show it.

He walked around to the driver's side of the car and stopped as he came across Castiel sitting on the floor, his head in his hands and rocking slightly. He was wearing his trench coat over his white hospital clothes and was wearing no shoes or shocks. His clothes were soaked right through and his hair was stuck to his forehead.

"Cas?" Dean asked, shocked. The Angel looked up and Dean winced. Castiel's skin was pale, with his eyes red rimmed and the blue dulled. They seemed to be sunken into his face and his cheekbones were sticking out sharply. There was dark stubble all over his cheeks and chin and his hair was more messy than usual. He smiled when he saw Dean. A crazed smile that showed too much teeth and didn't reach his eyes. Dean felt a chill run through him as he remembered the future Castiel. The 2014 Cas who wasn't Cas anymore; too far gone from drugs and sex and being human.

"Cas?" Sam's voice broke Dean's flashback and his brother was pushing past him to get to Castiel. This shook Dean enough to jump into action and crutch down beside Castiel's side as well.

"Cas, what happened?" He asked, gripping his arm.

"He came, Dean, he came," Castiel said, still smiling. He grabbed hold of Dean's t-shirt, pulling forward so Dean fell. He placed a hand on the car to balance himself.

"Who came Cas?" He asked. Castiel's eyes softened slightly, and his smile became a bit more real.

"My Father came," he said, closing his eyes as if to remember better.

"God?" Dean asked, looking at him in concern.

"Yes, he saved me Dean," Castiel told him, opening his eyes and looking crazed again.

"Maybe we should get him inside," Sam suggested and Dean nodded. He moved Castiel's arm so it was around his neck and pulled him up. Dean nearly fell over because Castiel was a lot lighter then he remembered. Whenever he had needed to help Castiel stay on his feet in the past he had been surprisingly heavy from the invisible weight of his wings, but now it was as if he as light as a pillow. Dean regained his footing and pulled Castiel up. He kept muttering stuff as Dean half carried him towards the motel room. Dean caught words such as,

"Saved" and "Wings" and "Father"

Sam got the door and Dean rushed in out of the rain and placed Castiel down onto the nearest bed, which happened to be his own.

"Get some towels," Dean ordered Sam who had already gone to get them. Dean focused on Castiel, who was still muttering quietly and had crawled onto his side, facing the hunter. His eyes were out of focus but he seemed to know Dean was there, as he reached forward to clutch Dean's wrist in a weak grip.

Dean tried to push Castiel's coat off but he whimpered and pulled it closer around him.

"It's soaked through, I need to get you dry clothes," Dean told him.

"Need my coat... don't take it away," Castiel mumbled, "Only thing left."

"I'm not going to take it away, just dry it and get you some warm clothes," Dean told him. Castiel hesitated for a moment before nodding. Dean took it off and froze for a second. The long trench coat had hidden how skinny Castiel had gotten in just a few weeks. His shirt was hanging off him and his collar bones were sticking out sickly. That wasn't right. Angels don't need to eat so they can't get this skinny. Could they?

"What happened to you?" Dean mumbled but Castiel heard and looked up.

"My Father saved me, he got rid of the versions, but he told me I couldn't be an Angel anymore because of my sins."

Tears formed in Castiel's eyes, shocking Dean.

"You're human now?" He asked, not noticing Sam standing behind him with towels.

"He gave me a choice, I could join my fallen brothers and sisters in Paradise or fall," Castiel whispered, before clutching Dean's shirt again and looking up at him with wide eyes.

"I fell for you Dean, I couldn't stand to be away from you," he said, as if begging Dean for something. The crazed smile formed on his lips again, "And my brothers and sisters, they would all hate me, I killed half of them after all."

And with that he passed out. Dean and Sam stood in a shocked silence for a moment, taking in the sight of the pale, unconscious, very human Angel.

Dean clutched his jaw tightly before grabbing a towel off Sam and started to rub Castiel dry. His brother helped him. They got him undressed and into some clean clothes of Dean's in silence. The older hunter ignored the fact that he could count Castiel's ribs and covered him in the cheap motel blankets.

"Dean," Sam started but Dean cut him off.

"Don't Sam, I don't want to talk about it, let's just go to sleep."

Sam nodded, knowing when his brother needed to be left alone. They climbed into the other bed together, both rolling over so they weren't touching each other and fell asleep.

* * *

Dean woke to whimpering. He was lying on his front with his head facing Castiel, who was shaking slighting in his sleep. Soft whimpers were coming from him.

"Dean," Sam whispered beside him.

"I hear him," Dean sighed.

"Go comfort him then," Same mumbled, his voice laced with sleep.

"Why me?" Dean growled. Sam was silent for a moment before saying,

"Because you two share a more profound bond."

Dean kicked him in the shin.

"Ouch! Jerk!" He cursed, before going silent again. Dean laid there and listened to Castiel's whimpers and muttered words.

"I can't do it, it's my fault he is like this," Sam said, sounding guilty.

"It's not your fault, he brought this on himself," Dean said, angry seeping though his tired mind.

"Dean," Castiel suddenly moaned, his voice filled with fear and pain. Dean bit his lip at the sound, his anger disappearing.

"Because he's calling your name," Sam whispered behind him. Dean sighed and pushed himself up out of the bed.

"Fine, but not a word of this in the morning," he told Sam.

The older hunter moved over to the other bed and carefully climbed into the bed next to Castiel. He was unsure what to do but he didn't need to do anything because soon as he was beside Castiel, the smaller man moved closer to Dean and wrapped his arms around his stomach and buried his face into Dean's chest.

Dean was shocked for a moment but his eyes softened as he noticed that Castiel was quiet now. He wrapped his arms around Castiel's shoulders, wincing slightly as he felt Castiel's sharp shoulder bones. He felt Castiel relax against him and he fell into a deep sleep. Dean leant his chin on top of his head and sighed, closing his eyes.

He didn't know how to feel. He wanted to feel angry because Castiel had messed up his little brother's head and then went on a massacre claiming to be the new God and then released the invincible Leviathans, who had killed Bobby. Thinking about all these things should make Dean hate Castiel, but he couldn't.

He knew Castiel regretted everything that he had done and he had fucked up his own head fixing Sam's, and he had fallen. The fool had fallen. And he was lying here asleep and having a nightmare, half starved and making no sense, burying himself into Dean's chest.

Dean felt sorry for him and sadness filled him at the sight of Castiel looking so fragile. The image of him in 2014 kept leaping into Dean's mind. The idea of Castiel being that lost made Dean shiver and he subconsciously brought Castiel closer to him.

It took him a while to fall back to sleep but finally he did, his dreams filled with Castiel's crazed smile.

* * *

Dean woke the following morning feeling extremely comfortable. He was lying on his back with Castiel lying on his chest. The weight was warm and felt nice. Dean would never admit that though. He looked over to Sam's bed to find it neatly made and empty. Dean frowned and looked around the room but his giant of a bother was nowhere.

"He went out earlier," Castiel's tired, gruff voice informed him. Dean hadn't realised he was awake so was a bit surprised. He looked down to see Castiel looking straight ahead, staring into nothing with dull blue eyes.

"Probably to get some breakfast," Dean told him and then brought his arm up to wrap it around Castiel's shoulder. He knew he should find this wrong and uncomfortable but for some reason it felt right and he knew that this is what Castiel needed right now.

"I don't like dreaming," Castiel mumbled quietly, still staring into nothing, "It's like all your worst memories and fears torturing you over and over again."

"Sometimes it is nice," Dean told him, "Sometimes you dream about happy memories and things that can't come true but are nice to think about."

"What do you dream about?" Castiel asked. Dean thought for a moment, rubbing a small circle on Castiel's arm.

"My first memory, when I was 4 and Sam had just been born and our parents took us on a panic to the park," Dean told him, "My Mum made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and my Dad played ball with me; it's a nice memory."

Castiel was silent as Dean thought about the memory.

"Or I dream about finding Hitler's ghost and burning him," Dean grinned, "Or having a threesome."

"I want to dream about flying," Castiel said quietly and dreamlike, "Or singing with my brother Balthazar when we were just created, before humans were even born and none of this mess was around."

"Wouldn't Balthazar be in this Paradise place?" Dean asked, looking down at him. Castiel nodded, his eyes going moist.

"Yes, Balthazar and Gabriel, Rachel and Anna," he sighed.

"What is Paradise?" Dean asked, deciding to keep taking to Castiel while he was making sense.

"It is where Angels go when they die," Castiel told him, "It is said that you are greeted by Father himself and all sins are forgiven and all the Angels live together with no responsibilities or duties, just in bliss and peace."

Dean spotted the longing look in Castiel's eyes as he said this.

"Why didn't you go?" Dean asked. Castiel tensed slightly and then let a shaky breathe escape through his chapped lips.

"I was ashamed, I do not deserve that life," Castiel told him, "My Father gave me forgiveness, I do not need anymore."

Dean was silent for a long moment and his hold tightened on Castiel's shoulders. Castiel turned his face so it was hidden in Dean's chest like last night.

"How did you get here last night, if you can't fly?" Dean asked.

"My Father delivered me," Castiel answered, sounding tired.

"So you're human now?" Dean asked. When Castiel didn't answer he took that as a yes. He sighed and sat up. Castiel groaned in protest, looking at Dean with pained eyes.

"If you're human than you need to start acting a bit more human because you need to look after your body now," Dean told him. Castiel looked down at his lap, looking embarrassed.

"I do feel a... a pressure in my lower abdomen," he mumbled.

"That means you need to pee," Dean told him, "Go to the bathroom and-"

"I know what to do, I was briefly human before, remember?" Castiel said, sounding frustrated. He slowly crawled out of bed and made his way over to the bathroom, leaning on everything he could on the way there. He looked ready to collapse.

Dean sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his face, not knowing what to do. He looked at the closed bathroom door and sighed. He got up and quickly got dressed. When Castiel didn't come out after an appropriate amount of time, Dean knocked on the door.

"You ok Cas?" He asked. He got no reply so opened the door.

Castiel was standing in front of the mirror shirtless and turned around so he was looking at his back in the mirror. Tears were rolling down his cheeks but he was making no noise.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, going to his side. There was nothing on his back, just pale skin and dimples at the bottom of his back that Dean had a sudden impulse to run his fingers over.

"My wings," Castiel whispered, his voice wrecked with sobs, "They're...gone."

He sat down on the toilet lid and covered his face with his arm, his other arm crawling around to try and touch his back, feeling for something that wasn't there. He folded himself up, as if trying to disappear.

"Humans don't have wings," Dean told him, going over and placing a hand on his shaking shoulder. Castiel stayed silent, but he was still crying.

"Come on, Cas," Dean said, not knowing how to comfort the fallen angel, "Being human is not that bad."

Castiel didn't reply, just kept on crying. The sound of the door opening and closing caught Dean's attention.

"Hey," Sam's voice rang through the doorway.

"In here," Dean yelled. Sam came in and looked startled as he spotted Castiel curled into a ball on the toilet seat.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Cas realised he has no more wings," Dean told him, squeezing Castiel's shoulder silently.

"Well, I got breakfast," Sam said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Let's go eat, Cas," Dean said, gently. Castiel shook his head.

"Come on," Dean said, kneeling down so he was level with him. Sam walked back into the main room to leave them alone.

Dean pulled Castiel's arms away from his face and back and noticed that there was blood on his hand.

"Cas, what the hell?" Dean asked and then stood up and looked at Castiel's back. There were scratch marks down his back, not deep but still bleeding.

"Why did you do that?" Dean asked, getting some tissue to wipe away the blood.

Castiel didn't speak through. His tears had stopped and he was staring into space again.

"Come on, put your shirt back on," Dean said, suddenly feeling like a parent. Castiel did as he was told, wincing silently as the fabric touched his broken skin. Dean pulled him up and Castiel fell forward from the sudden movement. Dean caught him and Castiel ended up resting against his chest, his hands curling in Dean's shirt to clutch it tightly. Dean's eyes softened and he reached up to run his thumb underneath Castiel's eye, wiping away some of the tears.

"It's all going to be ok, Cas," Dean said quietly. Castiel let out a breath, like he was relieved. They stayed like that for a moment, hugging for more then was socially acceptable for everyone who was just friends, but Dean couldn't bring himself to care. It was actually quite nice.

But he broke the hug eventually and gently led Castiel out of the bathroom by placing a hand on his shoulder, and leading him to small table where Sam had set out pancakes that he had got from the local diner.

Dean dug in, pouring syrup from a packet onto them and stuffing his face. He soon noticed that Castiel hadn't touched his.

"You're skin and bone, Cas, eat your pancakes," Dean told him through a mouthful of his own. Castiel shook his head and Dean sighed, popping the last of his breakfast in his mouth. After swallowing his food, he moved his chair over to Castiel's side, ignoring Sam's stare.

"I'll feed you if I have to," Dean told him. The Angel didn't react, just staring blankly at his plate.

"Fine," Dean sighed, forking some pancake and holding up the fork to Castiel's mouth. Castiel clutched his jaw tightly before closing his eyes and opening his mouth so Dean could feed him.

It took forever and a lot of pleading from Dean, but finally Castiel finished the pancakes. Dean was reminded of the times when he was younger and fed Sam his dinner.

"Wasn't too hard, was it?" Dean smiled, standing up and throwing the paper plates in the bin. Castiel didn't speak.

"I'll be back in a minute," Dean told him, before leaving the motel room to talk to Sam, who was loading the car.

"So where are we going?" Sam asked as Dean approached.

"Bobby's cabin where I healed my leg," Dean told him, "Just until we can sort Cas out."

"We don't have time to be hanging around there, we still need to stop Dick," Sam said.

"I know that but we can't just leave him," Dean growled, "He won't even eat, he wouldn't last long."

"What about Daphne?" Sam asked and Dean looked at him, confused.

"Who?"

"His wife?" Sam said, "Maybe she would be able to look after him better."

"No," Dean said, rejecting the plain outright.

"Dean..." Sam started.

"No!" Dean said, "I'm not leaving him with some stranger with no protection."

"She isn't a stranger to him," Sam tried to reason. Dean clutched his jaw.

"We are getting nowhere with Dick; it won't hurt to keep low for now," Dean told him firmly, closing the matter. He slammed the trunk closed and went back to the motel room.

Castiel was now lying on the bed, his back away from the door and curled into a ball.

"Cas," Dean said, his tone soften. He went beside the bed and knelt down to look at Castiel, who stared right through him.

"Cas," he said again, reaching out to stroke his hair back off his face. At the touch, Castiel gave a soft sigh and closed his eyes.

"We're leaving now, we are going to go somewhere safe but you have to get dressed," Dean told him, "I'm going to get you some old clothes of mine."

Castiel just nodded, sitting up on the bed. Dean grabbed him a blue shirt and some old jeans, along with a pair of boxers and socks. Castiel took them without comment and walked to the bathroom to get changed.

Dean made himself busy by packing up the rest of the room, keeping an ear out for any issues in the bathroom. He didn't want Castiel to hurt himself again.

Once Castiel was ready, he came out of the bathroom looking extremely cute in Dean's too big shirt. He was shivering though so Dean gave him his favourite hoodie to wear. The one Dean wears when he isn't feeling well, and found him a spare pair of trainers.

"We'll get you your own clothes soon, okay," Dean told him. Castiel just nodded. They got settled in the car while Sam checked out.

Soon they were on the road and the journey was quiet. Sam was still sulking about taking a time out for a little while, Castiel just stared out of the window and Dean drove. He was never good with silences though so his music was playing. He softly sang along with Led Zeppelin to distract himself from the tension on the car.

They wanted to get to the cabin as quickly as possible so Sam slept for a few hours before taking over the wheel in the night. Dean climbed into the back as Castiel was whimpering in his sleep again.

The former Angel, as if sensing Dean's presence, curled towards him and rested his head on Dean's thigh. Dean stroked his hair, a sad smile on his lips, before leaning his head against the window and falling asleep.

**I wrote this after a saw 7x17 and I thought this would be a good ending to that sorry. I know it turned out completely different. I have finished this story and I am going to try and post all the chapters asap. **

**Please review :D**


	2. Chapter 2

"Dean," Sam's voice disturbed his sleep. The older brother groaned and opened his eyes. They had stopped and the sky was just turning blue, indicating it was still early but morning.

"We're here," Sam said, looking over from the seat to Dean. He looked tired.

"Wake lover boy and meet me inside."

With that Sam got out and headed towards the cabin.

Dean rubbed his eyes and then looked down to Castiel who had curled further onto his lap, hugging his middle and had his face buried into Dean's stomach, lying down completely on the back seat with his body covered by his trench coat. Dean ran his hand through Castiel's hair, leaning down slightly to whisper in his ear.

"Cas,"

Castiel stirred and lifted his head up to look at Dean. He smiled lazily, causing Dean to smile back at the sight. Castiel's eyes were still dull though and Dean could tell it wasn't quite his real smile.

"I like it when you call me Cas," Castiel told him. Dean was taken back slightly at the statement but he was glad that he was talking as he hadn't spoke since yesterday morning.

"Balthazar use to call me Cassy but he gave nicknames to everyone," Castiel continued, "But no one has ever given me a nickname because they care about me...it's nice."

Dean ran his fingers through Castiel's hair again, faintly deciding that Castiel needed a shower.

"Are you my friend, Dean?" He asked, looking up at Dean with his washed out eyes. He sounded so young and innocent. Dean moved his hand to Castiel's cheek, running his thumb along his skin. Castiel closed his eyes and leant into the touch.

"Of course, Cas," Dean told him. He was shocked when tears began to spill from underneath his eyelids.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered and then turned his head so it was hidden in Dean's shirt again.

"Hey, hey," Dean said, stroking Castiel's neck, "Don't cry."

He had never been good with crying people so did the only thing he could think of. He stroked Castiel's back and made soft "shh"ing sounds, like he use to do with Sam.

Castiel only cried for a little while, before he calmed down and sat up. There was no emotion on his face. No pain or sadness, and the fake smile had gone. His face was completely blank. Void of emotion. It was very similar to when he first meet Dean, but the only difference was the emptiness of his eyes.

"You ok?" Dean asked. Castiel nodded, his eyes down casted.

"Well, we're going to go inside now, ok?" Dean asked, opening the car door and stepping out. Castiel followed, looking like a lost puppy. Dean grabbed his duffle bag out of the trunk and then led the way into the cabin.

Sam had passed out on the sofa and Dean chuckled slightly at his younger brother snoring. He placed a blanket over Sam's sleeping form and then walked over to the bedroom, Castiel still following him. Dean threw the bag onto the double bed which was the only bed in the small cabin.

"Right, let's clean you up," he said, turning to Castiel who was hovering by the doorway. Dean gave him a towel and then gently took his wrist in a loose grip and dragged him to the bathroom.

"Have you showered before?" Dean asked. Castiel nodded and started to strip while Dean turned on the shower, setting it to the right temperature. When he turned back around, Castiel was now naked and was holding his towel to his waist, with a faint blush over his cheeks. Dean put some shampoo and shower gel on the side of the bathtub and said,

"I'm going to get you some clean clothes."

He went to move past Castiel but his arm brushed past the smaller man's skin on the way past and he felt waves of electric run through him. He looked up and caught Castiel's eyes, who was looking straight at him, the blush deepening a shade. His lips were slightly parted and Dean could feel his breath against his neck.

"I...," Dean said, staring at his lips. He looked back up at Castiel's eyes and was shocked out of his trance when he saw the dull blues staring back.

"I'll be right back," Dean told him, "Get in the shower."

He then left. He stopped in the room, breathing heavily. His heart was pounding and he couldn't figure out why. Why was Castiel causing him to react in such a way? He still felt like he should hate Castiel for what he did but he couldn't.

Castiel needed to be looked after and Dean needed to be the one to do it. What Castiel had said to him when they had found him against his car kept coming into his head. He had fallen for Dean. It was his fault that Castiel was not with his brothers and sisters in Paradise. That meant that Castiel was Dean's responsibility now and it was up to him to look after him.

Sorting out his composer, Dean grabbed the spare clothes and disposable razor from a packet he kept in his bag, along with some shaving foam. He made his way back to the bathroom, where the shower was still running. Castiel was covered by the shower curtain.

"I'm back," Dean announced. Castiel didn't reply and Dean tried not to be worried. He washed his face and neck while waiting for Castiel to finish.

The water shut off and Dean handed the towel to him through the curtain. Castiel stepped out of the shower and Dean guided him to sit on the toilet seat.

"I'm going to give you a shave because you're starting to look like a hobo," Dean chuckled lightly. Castiel let Dean put shaving foam over his face and then take his chin in his hand and lifted it so it was easier to shave. Castiel closed his eyes as Dean slowly and carefully drew the razor over his cheeks and chin. It was slow work but something about it made it quite enjoyable. The slow and sure strokes were comforting. It was familiar.

"There," Dean smiled once he was done, "All smooth now."

He ran his fingers over the smooth skin as Castiel reopened his eyes. He watched as Dean traced his cheeks and jaw line. There was something surprisingly nice about Castiel's skin that made it hard for Dean to stop touching. He moved his hand around to the back of Castiel's neck, leaning down to rest his forehead on his.

"Cas," he breathed and Castiel's breath hitched. They stayed like that for a moment before a particular loud snore from Sam brought Dean back to the present. He broke away, coughing slightly in embarrassment.

"Come on, I'll get us some breakfast, do you want to come shopping with me?" Dean asked. Castiel looked disappointed which Dean took for a good sign as it was some emotion. It only lasted a split second though until the blank stare was back.

"Get dressed," Dean told him before going to the bedroom to get changed.

Castiel was silent the whole day again and didn't say a word. He barely ate unless Dean encouraged him and just stared blankly in front of him. It was like looking at a zombie. Dean tried talking to him but he wouldn't talk.

Sam stayed buried in his laptop, researching any possible leads on Dick's current actions, leaving Dean to try and fail to communicate with Castiel.

That night, when Castiel was curled in a tight ball in the double bed, Dean sunk down on the sofa, bottle of whiskey in his hand.

"If he is a human full time now, he needs ids and documents," he said to Sam, who nodded in agreement, bottle of beer in his hand.

"Has he said a word today?" He asked, closing his laptop and looking over to his brother, who was staring in front of him, deep in thought.

"He spoke briefly this morning," he answered, taking a swig of his whiskey, "He seems so different now though."

"He might have post traumatic stress disorder," Sam suggested.

"What?" Dean asked, looking at him.

"Well, think about it," Sam said, "His body was overtaken by monsters and then he exploded in the lake and he woke and lived for months not knowing anything about himself, just that he was different, and then he remembered but five minutes later he was shoved into a world occupied just by Lucifer, and trust me that isn't nice, and then God come to him and made him human and tore off his wings."

Dean thought about all of this and shook his head.

"He's an Angel, he will be fine."

"He isn't an Angel anymore, he is a human," Sam told him, "And a very human response to all of this is to have PTSD."

Dean was silent for a moment, taking a very long drink of his bitter whiskey.

"What are we going to do?" He asked, wanting someone else to think of a plan for once.

"Well, I still think the Daphne plan is a good one," Sam answered. Dean glared at him.

"We can't send him away," he said.

"Can't or won't?" Sam asked, raising his eyebrows at his older brother.

"Shut up," Dean told him and then slammed down his bottle on the coffee table and then laid down on the sofa, facing away from Sam to make it clear the conversation was over. Dean pulled a blanket over him and closed his eyes. He heard Sam sign and turn off the light. His bed was a spare futon on the floor. Dean heard him clicking away on his laptop but he left him alone, something Dean was glad of. Folding his arms tightly across his chest, Dean fell asleep.

"Dean," a voice woke him up. Dean groaned, turning over.

"Five more minutes, Sammy," he mumbled.

"It's not Sam," said the voice. Dean opened his eyes to see Castiel standing over him. He looked tired and was shaking slightly. Dean blinked the sleep away and sat up.

"Are you ok?" He asked. Castiel shook his head.

"The dreams came again," he said quietly. Dean rubbed his eyes and patted the space beside him. Castiel sat down and leant against Dean's arm as if he was absolutely exhausted and couldn't hold himself up.

"What you have to remember about dreams is that they are not real, and if they are about the past, well it's all over now," Dean told him, "You just have to try and forget about it and go back to sleep."

"Will you help?" Castiel asked, closing his eyes and letting his head fall against Dean's shoulder.

"With what?" Dean asked.

"I sleep better with you near," Castiel answered and then stood up. He held out his hand and Dean looked at it, hesitating for a moment. Dean had already slept with him for two nights. It wasn't normal, but Castiel didn't know that. Dean liked sleeping beside him because it felt nice and Dean liked being near him but it was inappropriate. When Castiel finally learns the way of humans and what it means for two grown men to sleep next to each other, Dean was afraid that Castiel will hate him for sinning.

"Please," Castiel pleased and Dean couldn't resist anymore. He took Castiel's hand and was led to the bedroom.

They laid down together and Castiel rested his head on Dean's chest, his hand over the hunter's heart. Dean smiled as Castiel's black hair tickled his chin. He smoothed it out of the way and then ran his hand down Castiel's back. He shivered at the feel and purred quietly.

"It feels nice," he mumbled. Dean's smile grew larger and he continued to do it, making slow strokes up and down. He closed his eyes and waited for sleep to claim him.

It didn't though as a few minutes later, Dean felt Castiel shaking. He looked down to see Castiel crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Dean asked, concerned.

"My wings," Castiel mumbled, "It feels like you're stroking them but you're not because they're gone...I'm confused because I can feel them."

Dean stilled his movements, confused.

"I'm sorry Cas," he said, wrapping both his arms around the shaking form.

Castiel ended up crying himself to sleep, soaking Dean's chest with his tears. Dean kept his arms his small form, feeling helpless. He placed a kiss on Castiel's hair and decided that tomorrow was going to be different.

The next day, Dean took Castiel clothes shopping. He figured that getting a new wardrobe might help Castiel accept that he is now human and therefore needs more than one set of clothes. Regardless of that, it was nearly impossible to get him away from the suits. They ended up buying a suit and blue tie that was nearly identical to Jimmy's, along with some other casual clothes and underwear.

Castiel was still being silent but at least he wasn't curled into fatal position, Dean reasoned. They went food shopping as well to stock up on food for the cabin, as it was likely they were going to stay there for a while.

Castiel followed Dean around the supermarket, occasionally picking up stuff and putting them in the trolley. This made Dean smile and he just let him do it. The fallen Angel had never eaten before so there were probably quite a few things he wanted to try.

In the afternoon, instead of sitting around the cabin, all three of the men went for a walk in the woods around the cabin. Dean figured the fresh air would do them all some good. They walked slowly as Castiel was still quite weak, but it was pleasant. Sam and Dean chatted away while Castiel walked beside them, taking in every sound and sight. He looked like his old self; silently curious. The slight breeze brought some colour back to his cheeks and he was wearing his trench coat.

"You ok?" Dean asked him, taking a break from talking to Sam. Castiel looked at him, looking slightly surprised that he had been spoken to. But then he smiled. It was small and only lasted a second but it was his real smile, not the crazed 2014 smile that had kept creeping up the last couple of days. He nodded and then turned to look at a small stream that was running through the woods.

Dean stopped for a moment, shock but beyond happy. That smile meant hope.

That night Dean went straight to bed with Castiel. Sam had found them curled up with each other in the morning anyway, so he was getting use to the sight. He didn't comment on it; something Dean was very grateful for.

The night started off with Castiel curled around Dean but he rolled over to the other side in his sleep. Dean, missing the warmth, rolled over so Castiel's back was pressed against his chest. Dean smiled in his sleep but was soon awoken by Castiel pushing away and moaning.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked. Castiel, who was still half asleep, rolled back over so they were facing each other, and grumbled,

"You were lying against my wings...it was uncomfortable."

He then wrapped an arm around Dean's stomach and fell back asleep.

_Huh?_ Dean thought, watching the sleeping ex-angel, _Wings?_

He laid and puzzled over it for a few minutes before falling back to sleep.

He dreamt of flying with Castiel but then feathers started falling around them and they started to fall through the air.

"I'm sorry" Castiel shouted through the wind and then it started to rain.

* * *

The next day Dean told Sam about the night before while Castiel was in the shower.

"Maybe he really does feel them," Sam said, "His wings were just as important to him as his arms or legs, it must be quite traumatic losing them."

"But he is acting like they're still there, how is that possible?" Dean asked.

"Well. When someone loses their arms they can still feel pain and other sensations in their missing limb, especially if it is sudden, because the brain still registers it being there."

"Really?" Dean asked, feeling pretty freaked out, "So if you can feel itchy?"

"Yes," Sam answered, "And if someone touches near the area where your limb would have been then you could feel that."

"That is too strange," Dean shivered, imagining it.

"Well, I think Cas still feels his wings, it probably hasn't kicked in that they're gone," Sam told him.

The door to the bathroom opened then and Castiel stepped out in just a towel, dripping wet.

Dean felt his cheeks heat up at the sighed and he looked away, pretending to be busy making breakfast. He cursed himself for reacting but, damn, Castiel was beautiful. He knew he shouldn't be thinking in such a way since Castiel was in a fragile place at the moment but he had always been attracted to the Angel. Ever since he had first seen Castiel burst though them barn doors with the shadow of his black wings behind him. Dean had never been attracted to men before but he had felt a connection to Castiel straight away. It went deeper then physically attraction. It was like they were already bonded. Even after Castiel started working with Crowley and then sucked in all those souls from Purgatory, Dean still felt connected to him. It's probably why it hurt so much.

Castiel got dressed and joined Dean in the kitchen. He was wearing light coloured jeans and a sweater that they brought yesterday. Dean smiled at how adorable he looked.

"Can I help?" Castiel asked. Dean passed him the bowl of butter mix he was making.

"Just mix this together with the spoon," Dean instructed, "We're making waffles."

Castiel followed the instructions and they fell into a comfortable routine, with Castiel giving the mix to Dean to place in the waffle iron and even Sam joining in by cutting up strawberries and melon.

"Do you want some?" The younger Winchester asked Castiel as they sat down to eat their breakfast.

"You can't ruin waffles with fruit, Sam," Dean told him, pouring a lakeful of syrup on his.

"No, I would please," Castiel said and Sam grinned at Dean as he handed the fruit over.

"I like fruit, it is a creation of my Lord Father," Castiel said.

"Yes, but it doesn't go with waffles," Dean told him and glared at Sam, "Touching him bad habits."

"You mean healthy?" Sam laughed. Dean shook his head but he was secretly happy that Castiel was eating without him begging him to, even if it was Sam's rabbit food.

And Castiel did seem to be improving over the next couple of days. He ate and he helped with cooking and cleaning and he even started to exercise, going on jogs with Sam and Dean taught him some hand to hand combat. He began reading a lot to find out more about the world and being human.

He seemed happier and defiantly healthier. He had colour back in his cheeks and was slowly getting some meat back on his bones. He rarely spoke though; only in the mornings and nearly only to Dean. It was as if he didn't have the strength to spoke after a little while. Like it took too much effect. He still got nightmares and Dean still slept beside him every night. One thing Dean noticed was that Castiel never slept on his back. Always on his front or his side, and never with his back up against anything. He didn't sit back against a chair or on the sofa either and always shifted uncomfortable. Dean knew it was because Castiel felt like his wings were restricted that way.

* * *

One night, about two weeks after Castiel fell, Deal woke in the middle of the night to Castiel saddling his hips and running his hands over his chest under his shirt.

"Cas...?" He mumbled, still half asleep, "What are you doing?"

"You're so beautiful, Dean," Castiel whispered, leaning down so he was breathing against Dean's ear. Dean shivered as he kissed just below his earlobe.

"Cas?" He asked, waking up slightly as Castiel tried to pull Dean's shirt off. He looked up to see Castiel looking down at him, his blue eyes boring into him like he was a piece of art.

"When I pulled you from hell I had to rebuild you," Castiel told him, succeeding in taking Dean's shirt off. He stroked a hand down Dean's chest and Dean had to hold down a moan, "I had to rebuild you from nothing and I held you while you wept from the pain."

He lent down and kissed Dean's neck. Dean closed his eyes and put a hand on Castiel's back, in-between his shoulder blades. He felt Castiel shiver in pleasure.

"I took your skin, blood, muscle, bone, hair," Castiel breathed on his skin, "And I put you back together."

He moved his hand to Dean's neck and run it along his shoulder and to his arm where the handprint was burnt into his skin.

"I took away all the scars but I left this so we would be connected."

Dean opened his eyes to watch Castiel move so his lips were pressed against the scar. Castiel smiled, closing his eyes.

"He left my grace in here," he mumbled.

"What?" Dean asked, confused. Castiel looked up, his eyes shiny.

"You have a little bit of my grace in you," he answered, "I thought my Father would have taken it away when I fell, but he didn't."

Dean sat up slightly, frowning down at Castiel.

"Really?" A sudden wave of his guilt overtook him. He had some of Castiel's grace, while the fallen Angel had none. It wasn't right.

"Yes, I am glad," Castiel smiled, fitting his hand over the print and sitting up so he was level with Dean. At the perfect fit, Dean felt a wave of power run through him, like being electrocuted but without the pain.

"Oh," he gasped, his eyes widening at the feel.

He knew it was the grace reacting to Castiel's touch. Castiel's smile widened and it wasn't his crazed smile. He looked real, like this was the first time he had experienced human happiness.

And that look of pure happiness had Dean lose his mind for a split second. He pulled Castiel forward and kissed him. Their lips crashed together and Castiel tightened his grip on the burn, causing more surges of electric to rush through Dean's body. Castiel's lips moved with Dean's without hesitation. Dean pulled him further onto his lips so their chests clashed together, and Dean could feel Castiel's growing arousal against his. He broke the kiss and leant his forehead against Castiel's, both of them breathing deeply.

"We should go back to sleep, Cas," Dean told him quietly. He was very aware that Castiel was still not quite there mentally and it felt wrong to go any further when he was still in such a vulnerable place.

To his surprise, Castiel nodded before pushing Dean down on the bed. He laid on top of Dean, his face buried in the hunter's neck. Dean wrapped his arms around him, placing one on his lower back and the other on his neck, rubbing small circles on his skin. Castiel kept his hand on Dean's arm, and then both fall asleep, dreaming pleasant dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel and Dean's relationship changed slightly but be damned if he was going to admit it.

They would share touches, like if they were in the kitchen together Dean would sometimes run his hand down Castiel's back or arm, or they would stand too close to each other. While sitting at the small table when all three of them ate their meals, their feet would touch under the table. Castiel would smile up at Dean, and Dean would smile back.

It was weird and he felt slightly like a girl. He had never really done the caring, touchy feely bit before. It had always been meet girl in bar, drink, head back to motel, fuck, never see again.

Not even with Lisa was it like this. He turned up on her doorstep a very broken man and slept on her sofa for about two weeks. They had got drunk together one evening and had fallen into bed. After that Dean had taken on the role of loving boyfriend and father. But it had never been like this. With Lisa Dean had always been questioning his actions, unsure what was right and wrong in the apple pie life he had been trying to be a part of, but with Castiel it all came naturally.

It was also the first relationship where sex was the furthest thing from Dean's mind. He loved being with Castiel and he was definitely attracted to the dark haired, blue doe eyed, skinny, pale fallen Angel. However, he knew that Castiel wasn't ready for such a relationship.

He was still depressed, spending some days being unable to get out of bed, and he still didn't understand about humans fully. He had spent years watching Dean sleep with woman after woman without having any emotional connection to them. But he had watched as Dean cared for Sam and loved Ben unconditionally. Dean wanted Castiel to know that he loved him and he was doing that by looking after him and waiting until he was ready before they have sex.

The days in which Castiel spent curled up in bed, unable to speak or get up were some of the worst days in Dean's life. There was no life in Castiel's eyes and he just stared into space, right through Dean. It was as if he couldn't see him. He muttered things under his breath and clawed at his back, leaving angry, red bloodied lines along his shoulder blades and down his back. Dean had to pull his hands away from his body and hold them tightly to his chest to prevent Castiel from hurting himself.

"It's ok," Dean would whisper, holding Castiel closer to him, "I've got you, no one can hurt you."

Castiel never responded though, just kept on muttering, too quiet for Dean to hear, until he fell asleep.

And the next day he would be fine, and functioning normally. The bad days were always completely unpredictable and it made it hard to leave him.

But after a month, Sam and Dean had no choice but to continue doing hunts and finding a way to kill Dick and his minions. So they had to leave the cabin. Castiel came with them and stayed in the motel room while Sam and Dean went to chase whatever lead they might have. Dean hated leaving him though. Castiel always reassured him that he was going to be fine and Dean knew he wasn't ready to hunt with them, but Dean still worried.

And it seemed for good reason.

They were in North Carolina, getting rid of a simple ghost. Dean and Sam were on a high after completing the easy hunt when they arrived back to the motel. Castiel had been in a good mood that morning. He had been learning how to use the computer and was doing some research for them on Dick's companies and whereabouts. He seemed glad to be of use again.

When the brothers arrived back in the motel, Castiel wasn't in the main room.

"Hey, Cas, we grabbed some food," Dean shouted at the closed bathroom door. He threw the bag of food on the table, before crossing the room and knocking on the door as Sam unloaded the food.

"We ganked the ghost so we can relax for the night, I got a movie to watch," Dean said through the door. When Castiel didn't answer Dean started to worry.

"Cas?" He asked and tried the door knob. It was locked.

"Come on Cas, open the door!" Dean said, starting to panic.

"Cas!" He said again and slammed his body against the door. The cheap motel lock broke straight away and Dean went crashing into the bathroom.

He froze when he saw what waited for him inside.

There was blood everywhere and Castiel was in the middle of it, unconscious and laying face down, and had long, deep gashes on his back, blood oozing from them. In his hand was a knife, slick with the red liquid.

"Cas?" Dean said quietly, as panic overtook him. He then shook the shock away and rushed to Castiel's side.

"Cas! Shit!" He gasped, and then shouted, "Sam! Help!"

His brother was already as his side though and passing a clean towel to him to apply pressure to the wounds.

"I'll get the first aid kit," Sam said, raising and rushing out of the room.

Dean pressed down on the towel and Castiel whimpered.

"Stupid idiot, what did you do?" Dean hissed as the blood soaked through his fingertips. Castiel whimpered in pain again but remained unconscious, something Dean was glad of. He got a new towel and pressed down as Sam came back in with the first aid kit and a bottle of whiskey.

Together they worked automatically to stop the bleeding and stitch up the gashes. There were five in total. Two on his left shoulder which weren't long but were quite deep. There was one long one that ran the length of his back, from the bottom of his neck to the bottom of his back. There was one on his right shoulder blade and then a really deep one on the small of his back on his right side.

Dean tried not to think about it. Just went through the motions of taking care of the wounds. He applied pressure while Sam cleaned the wounds and stitched them up. Once the bleeding had stopped and all the wounds had been stitched, Dean went about cleaning up all the blood from Castiel's body.

He did it mechanically but he could feel Sam's eyes on him as he carefully wiped the blood from Castiel's pale skin, ridding him of the sticky substance. He then carefully bandaged the cuts, being more gentle then he had ever been in his life.

"Dean?" Sam asked, looking at him over Castiel's still unconscious form.

"Help me put him on the bed," Dean said, not looking up. He saw Sam nod in his peripheral vision though. Dean grabbed Castiel's arms and Sam got his legs and they carefully carried him into the bedroom and onto the bed that Dean and Castiel had been sharing. They laid him on his front and Dean pulled a blanket carefully over his back. He stroked Castiel's hair out of his face and Castiel stirred. He opened his eyes and looked at Dean who was kneeling down to look at him.

"Hey Dean," Castiel slurred and then he smiled. Dean flinched back and had to refine from backing away. It was Castiel's 2014 smile. The smile of no hope. The smile of an Angel too far gone.

"They're gone, they're really gone," Castiel said, sounding empty. Dean leant forward and ran his hand through Castiel's hair again.

"Sleep, Cas," he whispered and then kissed his cheek, not caring that Sam was right behind him and watching them. Castiel obeyed and shut his eyes, relaxing against Dean's touch. His breathing evened out and he was soon asleep. Dean sighed and rubbed his face with his hands.

"Dean?" Sam asked. Dean stood up and grabbed his coat.

"I'm going out," he said, "Look after him, I'll be back soon."

And not waiting for Sam to reply, Dean left and got into the car.

He drove until he felt sore. His arm started to burn from where the hand print was. He pulled over and rubbed his arm. He somehow knew it was because he was far away from Castiel and it was the grace complaining. He sighed and then noticed he still had some blood on his hands. He scraped his nail against the red to get rid of it.

He felt ashamed because his efforts weren't working. No matter what he did, Castiel was still going to end up as a drug addict, orgy organising human who had no hope or faith.

Dean had promised that he would change that. He had promised that Castiel wouldn't become that. Dean hit his fists against the dashboard, fighting back the pressure behind his eyes. It hurt to see Castiel like that. He wanted to make Castiel better but he didn't know how.

Dean suddenly felt angry at God for giving Castiel a false promise. He may have got rid of the visions of Lucifer but Castiel still remembered them. He had nightmares about them and he has struggled over the loss of his wings. The memories of the war in Heaven still haunted him and he wasn't fixed at all.

Dean waited until he had calmed down and started driving back. The scar cooled down as he got closer to the motel. It was strange. As if the small bit of grace inside him needed to be close to Castiel. It had never happened before. Maybe it was trying to protect itself because it was the last little bit left and it needed to be near its source to feel happy.

_Great,_ Dean thought, _That's what I really need, a magnet connection to Cas._

When Dean walked back into the motel room he saw that Castiel was still asleep, his arms cradling the pillow under his head. It took Dean a moment to realise that it was the pillow he used last night. Sam was on his own bed, leaning again the bed board and with his laptop on his lap. He had been dozing but jumped awake as Dean came into the room. Dean gave him a weak smile as he walked to the bed that Castiel occupied.

"Are you ok?" Sam asked, rubbing his eyes. Dean nodded.

"Yeah, sorry I ran out, I just needed to clear my head."

He kneeled down next to Castiel and pushed his black hair off his forehead. Castiel made a small sound of contentment and leant into the touch. He didn't feel hot and Dean took that as a good sign. He moved his hand to Castiel's cheek, tracing his skin. He didn't notice Sam watching him.

"You really love him, don't you?" His little brother asked.

"What?" Dean asked, shocked and embarrassed. He took his hand away from Castiel's face and turned to meet Sam's glaze. He was met by soft eyes that knew the truth.

"You aren't as subtle as you think," Sam told him, an amused grin on his face, "I see the way you two act around each other."

Dean turned back to Castiel, who had started whimpering slightly when Dean had withdrawn his hand. Dean gave his touch back, running his hand through Castiel's hair. The whimpering stopped and Castiel relaxed.

"Isn't it wrong though?" Dean asked, watching Castiel turn his head so Dean's fingertips rubbed against his scalp.

"I've never seen you as happy as when you're with him, Dean," Sam told him, "What does it matter if he is a guy?"

Dean looked back at him, seeing understanding and acceptance in Sam's hazel eyes.

"He is so fragile at the moment though," Dean said, "I feel like I'm taking advantage of him, like he is only so attached to me because he doesn't know any better."

"He loves you just as much as you love him," Sam told him, "He has got so much better because of you."

Dean snorted, looking back at Castiel's pale face and bandaged back. He looked far from better.

"Dean, imagine if you lost your arms or legs," Sam told him, "Imagine how you would feel."

Dean did. Not being able to shoot a gun to protect himself or someone he loved, or being unable to drive his beloved impala. Not being able to walk or pick up a beer or hug his brother or tangle his legs with Castiel's when they're in bed together. He remembered how Bobby felt when he was in that wheelchair. Helpless and so determined to just give it up.

Dean knew what Sam was trying to tell him. It was going to take a long time for Castiel to get use to not having a part of him. Castiel was use to having his wings and had used them just as much as his arms and legs. He used them to fly and he used them in battle to fight and balance, and to offer comfort and receive it. Without them he feels empty and weak. He has lost a massive amount of power. He feels helpless and there is very little chance of that changing anytime soon.

"Yeah," Dean whispered in understanding. He sighed and turned back to Sam.

"Go to sleep, Sammy, I'll look after him now," he said. Sam just nodded, setting his laptop aside and lying down. Dean listened in the darkness as Sam's breathing evened out. He sat by the bed and leant his head against the mattress, his face very close to Castiel's. Dean watched him breathing, letting the slow movements loll him into sleep.

Dean woke to Castiel touching his hair, running his hand through the light brown strands and sending shivers down Dean's back. He opened his eyes to find tired, sad blue ones looking back.

"Hello Dean," Castiel said in his normal gruff tone. Dean sat up, ignoring the ache in his back and neck as a result of lying in a weird position for too long, and smiled gentle at Castiel.

"Hey," he said, his voice croaked. His eyes travelled to the bandages and he sighed.

"What were you thinking, Cas?" He asked, his voice almost breaking. He could feel the pressure behind his eyes again. Castiel sighed and he looked so human that it nearly hurt.

"I thought that because I could still feel my wings that they were still there, just hidden," he tried to explain.

"So you sliced yourself open?" Dean asked, sounding slightly angry. Castiel closed his eyes briefly, looking slightly scared at the tone.

"I thought my wings were trapped," Castiel told him, tears forming in his eyes, "I wanted to see them but all there was only blood, so much blood, it wouldn't stop and I fell unconscious."

Dean placed his hand on Castiel's forehead, stroking his hair back. He looked into Castiel's blue, shiny eyes and the heartache he saw there caused him so much pain. He wanted to take it all away but he didn't know how.

"You're wings are gone, Cas," Dean said, just a whisper. Castiel nodded, closing his eyes.

"I know," he cried, "I can't feel them anymore, it just hurts."

The pain in Castiel's voice shook Dean. He remembered when they first meet. Castiel was the most powerful being Dean had ever meet and so mysterious. He had pulled Dean out of hell! He had fought past all of those demons and pain and fire and had found him and then rebuilt him from the bloodied, shattered mess he had been.

And now the Angel who had done all that was lying in front of him; fallen, bloodied, human and broken. And now it was Dean's turn to fix him. It just might take a bit longer.

Dean stood up and moved around the bed to climb in next to Castiel. Castiel turned his head and moved slowly closer until he was lying his head in-between Dean's shoulder and neck. Dean rested his hand on Castiel's hair, not wanting to touch his back, and kissed his forehead.

"You'll heal, Cas," Dean promised, and then, thinking it might help to talk about it, he asked,

"What did they look like?"

"Beautiful," Castiel answered, "They were about 6 feet long each when I was in this form and as black as night."

"Black?" Dean asked, "I thought Angel's wings were white."

"They use to be," Castiel told him, his voice steadier, "They were scorched black by the hell fires when I went to hell to receive you."

"What?" Dean asked, instantly feeling a weight of guilt fall on him.

"Don't feel guilty, Dean," Castiel told him, as if reading his mind, "It was a great honour to be the one to pull you from hell; my wings were admired in Heaven as no one else had wings like mine. Michael has a few black feathers from when he threw Lucifer into the cage, but hell was new then so not as damaging. A few angels from my garrison received a few black feathers but no one went as deep as me. Lucifer's wings are not even wings anymore because of how long he has been in hell, just the skeleton of their former self, and I imagine Michael's will become the same soon as well, but no one has wings like mine. I was unique but I still loved them."

His tears had slowed as he had spoken, and he went quiet, looking deep in thought. Dean looked at him, stroking his hair gently.

"I wish I could have seen them," he whispered.

"The sight would have burnt your eyes out," Castiel stated, sighing and closing his own eyes.

"Would you have had your wings in Paradise?" Dean asked, his voice small. He dreaded the answer because he knew it was yes. Castiel had give up his wings for him. It was all Dean's fault. Castiel reopened his eyes and looked up at Dean, who was staring at the ceiling. Castiel leant up slowly, propping himself up on his elbows to look at Dean.

"I don't regret my decision, Dean," he said with so much sincerity in his voice that Dean had no choice but to believe him, but that didn't lessen the guilt at all. Dean looked up at him, blue eyes peering down at him. The blue eyes that were just as intense as they were the first time they meet.

"I choose to be with you because you give me something that Paradise never would," Castiel told him. Dean nearly snorted with how cheesy that sounded but didn't because Castiel looked so serious, and there was something about his glance that kept him quiet. He reached up and cupped Castiel's cheek, running his thumb over the cheekbones that looked a lot more healthy then they had done a couple of months ago.

"I love you Cas," Dean mumbled. It shocked him as he wasn't expecting to say it and he had never said these words to anyone before. Castiel smiled. It wasn't the crazed smile that Dean feared so much, but the small smile that was mostly in the eyes that Dean loved so much.

"And I love you, Dean," Castiel said, before gently pressing a kiss to Dean's lips and then lying down on top of him again. He relaxed against Dean's body and it didn't take long for the pain to slip him back to sleep. Dean concentrated on Castiel's breathing, finding comfort from the movement. It slowly lolled him into sleep as well.


	4. Chapter 4

It took a year to get rid of the Leviathans. They found a witch who knew how to open Purgatory without releasing anymore souls and they shoved the sons of bitches back in there.

And after that was done, there was nothing else. For the first time that Dean could remember, the end meant the end. No worrying about demons, or hell, or Lucifer and the apocalypse, and no more worrying about needing to hunt down and kill another thing. They were free.

It was a nice feeling, but also slightly overwhelming. As the three of them sat in a motel room, sipping beer, they had no idea what to do now.

Sam was sitting on his bed, smiling like he used to do as a kid. No worries at all. Dean was sitting on the floor, leaning back against Castiel's legs. Castiel was sitting on the bed, running his fingers through Dean's hair.

Castiel was so much more human now, as it was nearly a year since he had fallen. He knew his likes and dislikes, and didn't just eat what Dean eats now. He prefers fruit and salad, much to the hunter's dismay, because he likes the fresh taste it has. Despite that, he also loves chocolate and ice cream and the two of them can finish a massive bag of m&ms between them in an evening.

Castiel buys his own clothes and likes wearing similar clothes to what he wore when he was Emmanuel. The sweaters and smart, preppy clothes make him look like a choir boy beside Sam and Dean.

He likes going to church, but has only had a chance to about four times this year; two of which was when they were on a case. Castiel likes the hymns most of all as he likes praising his Father, even if he is an arsehole. So Castiel goes when he can, which is extremely rare.

Castiel also hates guns. He is a good shoot, but he prefers hand to hand combat and knives. He carries a gun but only uses it when he really needs to.

He sometimes forgets that he is a human though, which has got him into a lot of trouble. It is normally when he is in the middle of a fight, and is too caught up in adrenaline to remember.

The first time Castiel forgot that he wasn't super strong anymore and tried to shove a large demon away from him. The brute didn't move an inch and Castiel just looked confused for a second before Sam ganked the demon from behind.

Another time he forgot that he could no longer transport. He tried to get away from a fist but instead he ended up with a black eye and a slight concussion from where he hit his head against a wall behind him. Dean spent the night trying to keep him awake and trying to keep him from slipping into depression again.

The third time Castiel tried to exorcise a demon. They were surrounded when Castiel slammed his hand against the demon's forehead. The demon paused and grinned at Castiel, who looked confused and panicked. The demon raised a knife and Castiel just froze. He would have been stabbed through the heart if Dean hadn't pulled him back and stabbed the demon himself. It still got Castiel a nasty cut on his arm that needed to be stitched up.

Dean had stitched it up in silence, not looking at Castiel. He couldn't stand to look at the broken stare. Sam had left them on their own, and once Dean had finished taking care of the wound, he took hold of Castiel's hands, which were curled in his lap. Dean ran his thumbs over Castiel's skin and looked up to the dull blue eyes.

"You're not an Angel anymore," Dean told him, and winced at the slight tone of desperation in his tone.

Castiel looked into his eyes and for a second Dean doubted what he had just said. Castiel's eyes were just as intense as they had been when they had first meet, looking like they held all the knowledge in the world and more.

But the cut lip that would not heal and the stubble that darkened Castiel's face more than usual told Dean otherwise.

Castiel surprised Dean by reaching up and touching his cheek.

"I know, Dean," he said, sighing, "I am sorry to make you worry."

Dean moved closer so they were sitting side by side on the bed. He cupped Castiel's face and leaned in to kiss him firmly on the lips. Castiel kissed back desperately clutching Dean's arms. Dean sighed once the kiss ended and leant his forehead against Castiel's.

"I just don't want to see you hurt," he told his fallen Angel.

"I will be more careful from now on," Castiel promised, closing his eyes and resting against Dean's chest. Dean kissed his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut as if to shut away the pain.

And Castiel was more careful after that. He seemed to realise his weaknesses and didn't get into unnecessary trouble.

So, a year later, and three of them were sitting in a motel together.

"We should make a bucket list," Sam suggested.

"What's a bucket list?" Castiel asked, his movements pausing on Dean's hair. Dean frowned, leaning his head back to try and get Castiel to start up again.

"It's a list sad people make of the things they want to do before they die."

"It could help us figure out what we want to do next," Sam said, glaring at his brother, "When was the last time we were able to just sit and think about things we actually want to do?"

Dean just sighed as Castiel nodded in argument and they all wrote down their bucket list on the motel notepad. Castiel gave his to Sam, who nearly chocked when he saw the first one.

"Make love with Dean?" He asked, his cheeks reddening. Dean laughed at the reaction and squeezed Castiel's foot gently.

"You mean you haven't done it yet?" Sam asked.

"Well, you are the biggest cockblock in history, Sammy," Dean grinned, "And we hadn't had much of a chance with the whole killing the Leviathans thing."

Truth was Dean had made no move to seduce Castiel and neither had Castiel. Dean had wanted to make sure that Castiel was 100% sure that he wanted to do it so had not made the first move. But apparently he did so hopefully it will happen soon.

Dean looked up at Castiel, titling his head so it was resting in his lap. Castiel had a faint blush over his cheeks and was staring at the door of the motel room, clearly embarrassed.

"We'll talk about that one later," Dean mumbled to him. Castiel just nodded but he seemed to relax. Sam looked relieved. He was accepting of their relationship and comfortable with them showing affection for each other in front of him but he didn't want to discuss their love life.

"Ok, next one," Sam said and then frowned down at the paper, "Fly."

Dean felt his heart drop. Castiel had got a lot better over the last year but he still had days where he was so depressed about the loss of his grace and wings that he found it hard to even get out of bed. He sometimes spent hours staring in the mirror at his scars on his back, longing for his wings. Dean spent these times holding him and trying to coax him out of these states.

It hadn't happen in two months though, so Dean had foolishly thought he was better.

"Cas, you can't fly, remember?" Dean said quietly, reaching up behind him and rubbing Castiel's hip. Castiel looked down at him, a look of confusion on his face.

"Not with my wings, no, but humans have developed many ways to fly," he told Dean, "You have a aeroplanes and wind gliders and you even sky dive for fun".

"And you want to fly that way?" Sam asked. Castiel nodded.

"I know experiences will be nothing compared to actually having wings but I miss the feeling."

Dean smiled up at him, feeling a sense of relief.

"I'm sure we can organise something," he told him. Castiel smiled down at him, looking glad.

"Go dancing," Sam said, reading the next one on the list.

"Dancing!" Dean asked, "Why would you want to go dancing?"

"Humans have danced since their creation," Castiel told him, "You have danced for entertainment and to express your emotions, and I would like to experience this tradition."

"Well, I think we can organise some lessons or something," Sam told him.

"Will you join me, Dean?" Castiel asked, looking down at the older hunter. Dean's jaw dropped and Sam burst out laughing.

"Me? Dancing?" Dean asked, "I... I don't dance."

"But I want to experience everything with the one I love," Castiel told him, unashamed, "I want to experience everything with you."

"Everything?" Dean asked, and when Castiel nodded he paled.

"Even flying?" He asked and Sam laughed.

"Yes," Castiel answered, looking confused. Dean shook his head.

"No, oh no, I can't do that," he said, "I'll do the dancing but keep the flying and the crazy arsed sky diving to yourself."

"Oh," Castiel said, looking disappointed.

"It's because he's scared," Sam laughed, "I'll go with you."

This seemed to cheer Castiel up slightly so didn't say anything else on it. Dean squeezed his hand but felt sick just from the thought of flying.

Sam read the rest of the list, which were learn to cook, read a fiction book, go to the beach and celebrate human holidays.

They were all simple enough and Dean promised him they would do them all. They had missed all the holidays the last year as they were so busy. They only knew when each one was because of the decorations that were everywhere.

Castiel read Sam's list out.

"Get college diploma."

"What?" Dean asked, snatching the list out of Castiel's hands. The one right after the first one was 'become lawyer'

Dean looked up at Sam who just shrugged.

"I've always wanted to go back to college, but there was always something in the way," he told his big brother.

"But isn't it was too late now?" Dean asked, the old guilt falling on him. It was him that dragged Sam away from college and his only chance for normal.

"No," Sam answered, "They do programmes for older students to complete their diplomas; I only need a few credits anyway."

"And then you want to become a lawyer?" Dean asked. He grinned; it was such a normal, boring job,

"We can't do this forever, and we shouldn't have to," Sam told him, "I want to become a lawyer so I can help the people affected by supernatural beings and are accused of crimes because of them."

"Like someone processed by a demon?" Castiel asked. Sam nodded.

"How are you going to do that?" Dean asked, "There will be too much evidence against them."

"I don't know but I want to try," Sam said. Dean handed the list back to Castiel. He was actually really proud of his brother for wanting to go back to college and become a smart arsed lawyer. It would be hard, but Sam was right; they've done a lot for humanity, they shouldn't have to continue. Not when it was costing them so much.

"Fine, but I'm going to stay with you, wherever you decide to go to college," he told his little brother. Sam just grinned, like he didn't expect any less.

"Travel Europe," Castiel read the next one. Dean snorted.

"Can you be any more of a dork?" He asked.

"I've always wanted to go to Europe, since I was a kid," Sam protested, "And they have a lot more supernatural lore there."

"That's a reason not to go," Dean told him, eyebrows raised.

"Europe is a very beautiful place," Castiel put in, "Very interesting because of its rich history."

"Have you been?" Sam asked. Castiel nodded.

"Many times."

"Cas has been!" Sam told Dean, sounding like a jealous child.

"Fine, we're go," Dean sighed, "What's the next one?"

"Get married," Castiel answered.

"And have a child," Sam added, looking down at his lap, "And I know what you're going to say, Dean, why would I want a child when there are so many horrible things out there and after the way dad raised us, but I just want to have a normal life."

"Hey," Dean said, kicking his foot against Sam's gently. Sam looked up and Dean smiled at him.

"I had a family for a year, remember?" Dean told him, "It was far from perfect but I was happy, part from you being in hell. I understand why you want a family and I think you'll be a good dad."

Sam smiled back and nodded.

"But you'll have to look hard for a girl that will marry you, Sasquatch," Dean teased.

"Jerk," Sam scowled, kicking his leg. Dean laughed.

"Bitch."

Sam slowly smiled and Dean just laughed and nudged his little with his foot.

"Dean's turn," Castiel said, and Dean gave him his list and tensed slightly against his knees.

"Get impala back," the former Angel read.

"And that is out number one priority" Dean told them. His baby was still locked up and he felt like crying just thinking about her, all alone in the dark, spiders crawling all over her and rust starting to form. He felt Castiel chuckle behind him and if he hadn't been mourning over his girl, Dean would have smiled. Castiel had learnt more and more about human emotions, and Dean loved it when he laughed and smiled. It was quite a sight to see a former solider look so happy.

"Ok," Sam smiled. No one argued; they all knew how important the impala was to Dean, and it had been in hiding for over a year.

Castiel read the rest of Dean's list. It consisted of wanting to have a massive movie night with Castiel to show him every great movie, finding the best burger in the world and eat at least 10, eat every flavour of pie and go fishing.

Dean kept his face blank as he felt his little brother and his lover looking at him.

"Really Dean?" Sam asked.

"What?" Dean asked, defensively.

"With everything that there is to do in the world and everything we've done in our lives, they're the things you came up with?" Sam asked. He reached over and took the list from Castiel and looked at it.

"Eating pie and watching movies?"

"Cas wants to dance and cook, why can't I do simple things as well?" Dean asked.

"Because he hasn't experiences human things before," Sam argued.

"What do you want me to say?" Dean asked, feeling frustrated now, "We could wish for all this stuff, a quiet life, getting married and having kids and having a normal job, but it probably won't happen because whenever we feel safe, something else comes up and we have to run around saving the world again."

Dean stood up, out of Castiel's touch, and looked at Sam.

"We're never safe and neither are the people around us, everyone we care about die or are hurt, and I'm not going to bring more people into this world just to watch them suffer," Dean told Sam, who started to look upset but his brother's words, "Wishing for simple things is the best thing to do because eating pie and fixing the impala can't hurt anyone."

Dean, not wanting to see the hurt look on Sam's face anymore, left the motel room and walked to the nearby diner. He slid into the booth and accepted the coffee the late night waiter offered. He stared at the black liquid until he felt Castiel slid in beside him. He sighed and looked up into the blue eyes. Castiel smiled at him softly.

"I liked your list," he told Dean, "I want to watch movies with you and go fishing at that place I saw in your dream."

"The dock?" Dean asked, remembering the clear water and the sun, and Castiel standing beside him in his silly trench coat and the messy tie. It had been very peaceful.

"Yeah, it's a place in Tennessee that we went on a hunt one time when I was 10, it was at a holiday lodge with all these little lodge cabins and a giant lake. Our Dad went off to do the hunt and Sammy and me had the run off the place for a week. We meet this old guy who was fishing out on the dock and we use to sit these on the deck with him. Sam read about 100 books that week and I just sat and watched and helped with the fishing. I begged Dad t take me fishing after that but he never had time."

"We can go," Castiel told him. Dean nodded, smiling slightly.

"I understand why Sam wants a normal life, hell, I've been dreaming about having one since our Mum died but it's not possible, not with us," Dean told him. Castiel placed his hand on Dean's leg and the weight was comforting.

"You don't have to fight forever, Dean," he said, "Maybe God will be kind now."

"He gave me you," Dean said, knowing he sounded cheesy, "He can't give me more than that."

Castiel smiled.

"You don't know that, you deserve a normal life, you and Sam."

Dean looked away and thought of how happy Sam had been when he had told Dean he wanted to go back to college, and how sad he had turned when Dean said it wasn't possible. He should try, for Sam's sake at least so Dean took a napkin and borrowed the waiter's pen and wrote down his bucket list. Castiel didn't look and distracted himself by ordering a strawberry milkshake and slowly blowing bubbles in it. Dean had to laugh with how childish it looked and he suspected Castiel had done it to cheer Dean up. Castiel smiled at him as he folded up the list and put it in his pocket.

They walked back to the motel room hand in hand and they kissed briefly as they got to the door. Dean winked at Castiel, before going in and handing the list to Sam. Castiel and Dean sat side by side on their bed and Dean watched Sam read his list. A slow smile spread across Sam's face as he read it.

"Get a house," he read. Dean sighed.

"Yes, I want to get a house and set it up like Bobby did with his house, with all the phones, so other hunters can call us if they need back up or an alibi," He told them, "So we can be the hunter's HQ in a sense, because no matter how hard we try to hide from our life, it won't go away, I learnt that when I was with Lisa and Ben."

Sam nodded.

"It's a good idea, Bobby was a real help for a lot of hunters, and we should carry that on," he said.

"And we will make a bad arse panic room that will be protected against everything," Dean grinned, "It will be even better then Bobby's."

"Ok," Sam smiled, seeing that his brother was already planning this in his head, and knowing that Dean had all these plans in his head made him feel happy. It was important that Dean knew how to think about the future, instead of just living in the present and only thinking about the past. Truth is, Dean only starting thinking about the future when Castiel fell and his feelings for the former Angel were returned. He wanted to make sure that Castiel had a normal life. He knew that Castiel deserved that. Dean wanted Castiel to experience living in a house, cooking and eating normal meals together, celebrating Christmas and birthdays, and knowing what it is like to be part of a family. So Dean had started to fantasise about what their life could be like. He never thought they would be able to carry it out though, but Sam was right. They have been fighting their whole lives and they should be able to stop now.

"Open up a motor shop," Sam read the next one. Dean nodded.

"Part from hunting and shooting, fixing up cars is the only thing I'm good at," he said, "So to make money I will set up a garage."

Sam paused on the next one. He licked his lips and looked briefly at Castiel.

"Check on Ben and Lisa."

Dean nodded again, but didn't look at Castiel. He knew that Castiel wouldn't think much of it as he wasn't one to get jealous or worry about Dean's past relationships, however he felt slightly guilty about still worrying about Ben and Lisa because he was suppose to be only concentrating on Castiel now. However, Dean loves Ben as if he was his own son, and Lisa had really cared about him for that year. They had saved him from doing something stupid and they were the only ones there for him. They had suffered too much because of Dean and Dean wanted to make sure they were still ok.

"I just want to make sure that they are ok and happy," Dean told them. Castiel took Dean's hands and Dean looked at him. Castiel had a small smile on his face.

"It's a good idea," he told Dean and Dean relaxed. He squeezed Castiel's hand and smiled.

"I can't believe you wrote this next one," Sam laughed, "You're such a girl."

"Shut up," Dean said, snatching the list back from Sam. The next one was 'Make sure Sam is happy' and it was one of the most important ones on there. No matter what happened and wherever they ended up, it was essential to make sure that Sam was happy. It has always been Dean's duty to keep Sam happy and safe, and that was never going to change.

There was one left on the list. Dean looked at it and he could feel Castiel looking over his shoulder to read it as well. He felt his heat quicken, and he thought Sam was right. He was such a girl. He shouldn't be feeling nervous about this.

"Get married," Castiel read it slowly.

_Crap_, Dean thought as he felt his cheeks go red. He swallowed his nerves down and turned to Castiel, who was looking at him with those goddamn blue eyes and they were so intense and curious and Dean tightened his grip on his hands. He suddenly wished that Sam was not in the room.

"Yeah... I want to get married," Dean told Castiel.

"With who?" Castiel asked and Dean laughed, shaking his head.

"With you, silly," he told his Angel, because Castiel will always be an angel to him. He remembered about wanting to make sure that Castiel experiences normal human things, so he got off the bed and bent down on one knee. The room was silent as Castiel and Dean looked at each other. Castiel slowly nodded, and his small, mostly in the eyes smile appeared.

"Yes, Dean, I'll marry you," he said and he was so matter of fact that Dean laughed. He stood up and captured Castiel's face in-between his hands and kissed him. Sam cheered behind him and Dean laughed into the kiss. Castiel's eyes were so bright when they looked at each other and Dean had never seen him look so happy. Dean had never been this happy before either and he hugged Castiel tightly. They were soon surrounded by Sam's long arms as well as he embraced them.

"This is so great!" Sam said, smiling from ear to ear, "I better be the best man."

"Of course," Dean told him, wrapping an arm around Castiel's body and rested his hand on his hip.

"You know what, I will get you an engagement present right now," Sam said and then rushed out of the room. Dean frowned after him. What was possible going to get at this time of night? Shaking his head, Dean turned his head to Castiel and smiled at him.

"Do you really want this?" He asked. Castiel nodded, cupping Dean's cheek.

"More than anything," he said before kissing him. Dean brought him impossibly close and the kiss deepened. They were both so happy that they couldn't stop smiling and the kiss kept getting interrupted by Dean laughing and trying to clutch Castiel tighter.

"I need to get you a ring," Dean told him, their foreheads pressed together.

"Don't you need one as well?" Castiel asked.

"I don't know," Dean said, "Maybe."

"I'll get you one as well then," Castiel smiled.

Sam back in at that moment, waving a key around.

"Here," he said, giving the key to Dean, "I can no longer be a cockblock if you have a separate room."

Castiel had that faint blush back and Dean thought it was adorable that he was embarrassed by this. He was never really affected by anything, so it was funny that talking about sex caused this reaction.

Dean took the key from the grinning Sam and took hold of Castiel's hand.

"Night Sammy," Dean winked before dragging his now fiancé away.


	5. Chapter 5

The room was the other side of the motel, something Dean suspected Sam planned. Dean barely got to see what the room was like before he pushed Castiel against the closed door and kissed him. Now that he knew that Castiel did want to be imitate with him, and there was no more Leviathans to worry about, Dean found that he really, really wanted to just lose it and have sex. He hadn't had sex in way over a year. A record for him, and he was just feeling it now.

"Dean," Castiel moaned as he attacked his neck. The skin was soft and tasted very nice.

"Do you want this?" Dean asked, nearly begged. He wanted to taste the rest of Castiel. He wanted to feel him and share everything with him.

"Yes," Castiel answered, clutching Dean's arm. And that was all of the permission Dean needed. He started to unbutton the shirt Castiel was wearing and he slipped it off Castiel's shoulders, bending down to kiss his chest and run his hands over the pale skin. Another moan escaped Castiel's lips as Dean's mouth slid over his nipple.

"Ah...Dean," he breathed. His hands were desperately trying to get Dean's top off, needing skin to skin contact. Dean didn't protest and let his top be pulled over his head. He found Castiel's lips again and kissed him hard, their tongues sliding against each other. He pulled Castiel towards the bed and fall on it so Castiel was on top of him. Their bodies were so close that Dean could feel Castiel's arousal through the fabric of their jeans. Castiel was working purely on instinct and he was running his hands all over Dean's body, kissing his neck like Dean had done to him a moment ago.

Dean moaned as he felt Castiel nibble his neck and his back arched off the bed as their crutches touches.

"Cas...Cas," Dean breathed, sliding his fingers into Castiel's jeans.

"Cas, I... I need...," Dean said, losing himself in how good it felt.

"I want to please you, Dean," Castiel told him, leaning up and looking down at him with lust clouded eyes, "Tell me how."

Dean pulled him back down, clashing their lips together.

"I need... you inside me," Dean said, feeling valuable but liking it for once. He wanted Castiel to take control. To feel the dominance that he had once processed.

"I don't know how," Castiel said, looking slightly concerned.

"Neither do I," Dean smiled on his lips, "But we'll do it together."

He pulled down Castiel's trousers in one swift movement and Castiel gasped as Dean rubbed his palm against his arousal. Dean grinned, kissing his neck as he arched in pleasure.

"D...Dean... that...that feels...," Castiel panted.

"I know," Dean smiled, than began to jerk down his own trousers. Castiel helped and once they were off he started to copy Dean's moves and it felt so good. He moved his hips to cause more friction. Castiel copied and they rubbed together. Castiel held them both in his hand and stroked them up and down in slow strokes. Dean clutched onto Castiel's shoulders, wanting more.

"Need...Cas!" He moaned and then pulled Castiel's hand down so his fingers were against Dean's entrance.

"Don't we need lube?" Castiel asked and Dean looked up at him.

"Have you been researching?" He asked. Castiel had that blush again and nodded.

"I think spit is fine," Dean told him and brought his fingers back to slowly suck them. Castiel watched in awe and licked his lips. His cheeks were flushed and there were already tiny beads of sweat collecting on his forehead. Dean had never seen a more beautiful sight.

Castiel withdraw his fingers and pressed once against Dean's entrance. He slowly pushed in and Dean shivered with how good it felt. Castiel slowly moved his fingers in small circles and Dean let out a low groan and clutched Castiel's shoulders tightly, bringing him down to kiss him.

"More...Cas, more."

Castiel obeyed, pushing another finger in. He scissored Dean, preparing him. He was being so slow and careful it was almost frustrating. He needed more.

Castiel added another finger and Dean cried out as he hit the hard muscle at the back.

"Cas!"

Dean arched his body up so they were pressed together. He bit Castiel's lip gently and his fists were so tightly clutched on Castiel's shoulders that there would be bruises in the morning.

"I need you...I need you now!"

Castiel nodded and pulled his fingers out. Dean whimpered while Castiel licked his hand and gave his own length a few quick strokes. He positioned himself and then pushed into Dean.

It hurt but the pain was nothing compared to the overwhelming pleasure that he felt. He closed his eyes, his head lolling back onto the pillow.

"Are you ok?" Castiel asked, his voice gruffer than normal. Dean nodded, seeking Castiel's lips and kissing him hard.

"Move Cas," he breathed and Castiel did, moving slowly at first but then speeding up. His hands moved across Dean's body and up to rest on the handprint on Dean's arm.

"CAS!" Dean cried as the contact sent intense waves of pleasure through him as Castiel's grace moved through him.

"Dean," Castiel breathed against his skin. He was breathing hard and groaning with every thrust. Dean was close but he didn't want to cum yet. He wanted to last so he could cum with Castiel.

Dean opened his eyes to look at Castiel and was met by a bright light that was coming from his arm and Castiel's hand. Castiel had his eyes shut and was thrusting his hips in a steady rhythm, his lips slightly parted as soft groans escaped. There was light coming from his back as well. He arched his back up, his hand still on Dean's handprint.

"Cas!" Dean said, watching the light grew bright as he moved his hips to meet Castiel's thrusts.

"Dean!" Castiel responded, too lost in the moment to realise what was happening.

He was close and his grip on Dean's arm tightened. Dean felt pressure build as the light became almost blinding.

Castiel opened his eyes and slight panic appeared as he saw the light.

"Close your eyes Dean!" He told him but Dean couldn't. It was too beautiful. Castiel surrounded by this white light. His pale skin and dark hair, and those blue eyes. He was an Angel.

"D...Dean!" Castiel cried out and Dean felt him cum inside him. As he did so, the light changed. It grew darker and formed two large shapes either side of his shoulder blades. They stretched out the whole length of the room. Dean cum with a gasp, cuming all over their stomachs. The black shapes erupted into light again, so bright Dean's eyesight went white and he finally screwed his eyes shut against the pain.

"Dean! Dean!" Castiel said, panic in his voice. He climbed off Dean and touched his face, his hands shaking.

"Are you ok?" Castiel asked and he sounded close to tears. Dean opened his eyes and was pleased to see that he still had his eyesight. He locked his eyes with Castiel's and smiled.

"What was that?" He asked.

"It was my grace in you reacting to the intense emotions we were both experiencing," Castiel told him.

"So they... they were your...?" Dean asked.

"Wings?" Castiel smiled and nodded.

"So... are you...are you...?" Dean asked, feeling a sense of hope, but at the same time dread.

"No, Dean, I am not an Angel," Castiel smiled and he seemed content, "My grace just lost control for a moment, that will be the last time that happens."

Dean reached up and stroked Castiel's cheek. Castiel leant into the touch.

"Your wings, they were beautiful," Dean told him and Castiel leant down and rested his head on Dean's chest, his hand over Dean's heart.

"I'm glad you saw them, even if it was just the once," he mumbled tiredly.

"I'm sorry that you lost them," Dean said, stroking his hand down Castiel's back, over the scars that were there instead of wings.

Castiel leant up again and looked down at him, sadness in his eyes.

"Do you forgive me, for everything I have done; for teaming up with Crowley, and open Purgatory, and hurting Sam?" He asked. Dean frowned.

"Of course I have, you've made up for these things and they were a long time ago," he told Castiel, rubbing his thumb against his lover's cheek.

"I lost my wings a long time ago, and I am not angry at you for losing them," Castiel told him, "So can we stop with the apologies and the feeling guilty?"

Dean nodded slowly and pulled him down for a slow kiss.

"We're going to get married and we're going to live together and we will be happy," Castiel told him and smiled, resuming his position on Dean's chest.

"I feel so happy, here with you," Castiel told him, "Before I meet you I was no one and I had no one."

"You were an Angel," Dean told him, stroking his back.

"I was one of thousands though. All Angels are the same, part from the four Archangels, so I was no different. All I did was follow orders and praise my Father, there was nothing else," Castiel told him, "but then I was given orders to save you and the moment I saw you I changed. I felt a strong need to protect you and it went far beyond my orders. I fell in love with you pretty quickly and my garrison found out, and that was when everything changed, but I was happy, despite being cast out of heaven."

Dean kissed his hair and stroked circles on Castiel's shoulder, listening to every word.

"I liked feeling human emotions, even though some of them were confusing and I liken being with you, even though most of the time you seemed to hate me."

"I never hated you, I loved you most of the time but you seemed like a dick, like the rest of your brothers and sisters, but I know now that you were just following orders," Dean told him, kissing his hair again. Castiel smiled and closed his eyes, relaxing against Dean.

"I'm glad to hear that," he mumbled, sounding like he was about to fall asleep, "As long as I have you, I don't need my wings."

Dean smiled, wrapping his arms around his Angel. Because to him it didn't matter that Castiel didn't have wings, or grace, or power; he would always be an Angel to him.

"I love you, Cas," he whispered into his hair, nuzzling it with his nose. He felt Castiel's smile against his chest.

"I love you too, Dean."

**Epilogue **

Kansa blared out of the barn and into the yard in front of the house that Dean, Sam and Castiel had brought together. It was an old farm house that was hidden by woods and fields and had a long road leading up to it from the main road. It was in California, near the collage that Sam attended. It was hot and Dean was bending over a car, bare chested and covered in grease.

He had converted the old barn into a garage and had set up his own garage business where he fixed cars and reconverted old cars to their former beauty. He was currently working on a mustang at the moment and had the stereo loud.

Sam was at collage at the moment and was busy studying for exams.

Castiel came out of the house with an apron on and flour in his hair. Dean looked up and chuckled lightly. Castiel was taking cooking lessons and was actually a good cook. For the first time that Dean could ever remember, they were eating proper meals and not diner crap.

"What are you making?" Dean asked, leaning against the bonnet of the car and wiping his hands on a rag that was already covered in grease.

"Chicken stew and I also made an apple pie," Castiel answered. Dean beamed and leant forward to kiss him.

"Do I ever tell you that you're the best?" He asked.

"I think you've mentioned it a few times," Castiel smiled back, "It's normally when there is pie involved."

He took a step back to avoid Dean's dirty skin as the hunter laughed.

"Sam isn't coming back for dinner," Castiel informed him.

"He spends too much time in that library," Dean grumbled, "He's going to work himself to death."

He looked at Castiel when he didn't agree and saw the face that normally told Dean he was hiding something.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Sam has a date," Castiel had never been good at hiding things from Dean, "but he didn't want you to know."

"Why not?" Dean asked, "Why would he tell you and not me?"

"Because you would tease him," Castiel answered, looking worried now. Dean just looked at him and burst out laughing.

"I guess you're right."

He slung an arm over Castiel's shoulder and leaned in to kiss him. Castiel kissed him back and Dean smiled.

"You're getting me all dirty," Castiel half heartedly complained.

"You'll just have to come and have a shower with me then," Dean told him, biting his lip gently. Castiel nodded and let his lover lead him into the house.

After the shower, Dean was in the study, which had about a dozen phones on the desk, each with a label just like in Bobby's old office.

"Yes, this is Agent Smith," Dean said into one of the phones labelled 'FBI'. His feet were on the desk and he was bare chested still, his hair wet.

"Yes, Agent Collins was assigned for this case," he said. Castiel came in, wearing sweats and an old t-shirt of Dean's. He was drying his hair with a towel.

"Yes, I know he is a bit clumsily, but he is one of the best agents we have."

Castiel sat on the desk and Dean placed a hand on his thigh, absent mindedly stroking his leg.

"It is not for you to question out actions so I suggest you let Collins get on with his job and don't call me with stupid questions again!"

He hung up and sighed.

"Garth again?" Castiel asked. Dean nodded.

"How he hasn't got himself killed or arrested yet is beyond me," he answered.

Castiel leant forward and captured Dean's lips. It was a quick kiss and Dean had to smile with how domestic he felt.

He never thought he would have this life. House, garage, having his own bedroom and comfortable bed, and shower that had hot water, and Sammy in law school and Castiel by his side, with his wedding ring on his finger.

They were planning their wedding. Castiel wanted to get married in front of God so they were searching for the perfect place. Dean was happy just getting hitched in Vegas but this was important to Castiel so they were waiting.

Despite the domestic lifestyle, Dean was the happiest he had ever been.

"Come on," Castiel whispered on his lips. Dean looked into his blue eyes, smiling softly. He ran his hand through the soft black hair.

"There's apple pie waiting for you."

Dean stood up and took Castiel's hand. The former Angel didn't look like his 2014 self anymore, which Dean found funny as it was 2014 this year.

Castiel wasn't addicted to drugs or alcohol, and he didn't have orgies. His eyes were bright and the winkles around his eyes were from laughing and smiling. He wasn't stick thin anymore and had a healthy, well built body. He still had faith and went to church every Sunday and prayed nearly every day.

And Sam wasn't Lucifer, so Zachariah had got it really wrong.

And Dean couldn't have been happier about it. He had everything he needed.

**FIN**

**Thanks for reading . Did you like it? If you did then please review. **


End file.
